No longer a 20-something…

So…it’s official…I’m old. I really can’t call this blog tales of a 20-something in the city anymore. Because…I’m 30 now. Yup. I still feel like I’m in my 20s though, so that should count for something, right? No, I know- it’s a LIE. Sigh. I wonder if I should change my blog name. Is that even possible? Well, whatever. Anyways…sorry I haven’t written since…oh, 9 months. No, I was wasn’t busy being pregnant. I was busy living life! Yeah, that sounds more exciting! Ok, so my life has been pretty hectic so I don’t think I can really say I’ve been “living” life. More like breezing through day after day and having it pass me by. Ok, that doesn’t sound fun either. My excuse? I’m an adult now. Adults don’t have fun. They cram a million things into their small 24-hour schedule…which usually includes 8 hours every day already thrown away at their God-awful jobs, a few hours at the gym after work, maybe squeeze in a dinner date with some gal pals before you head home to your boyfriend and get maybe an hour or 2 with him before you pass out and relive your Groundhog Day all over again when you wake up. Um…is anyone jealous of this schedule? This has been my life for the past 2 years. Ever since I got a big-girl job…a 9-5er. I keep hoping something will change, my life will get more exciting, yadda yadda yadda. Nope. I’m lucky if I even GET to see my friends. I feel like I’m neglecting them. I feel like I’m neglecting ME. I feel like I’m neglecting my family that I haven’t seen in 6 months- that’s the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing my family…and no date in the near future that I see myself getting to go home to visit them. Poor me.

Ok, my intention was not to create a “bummer blog” today. I guess that’s just what it’s turning into. Ok, enough of that- let’s talk about some POSITIVE things that have happened to me that I haven’t been able to update on. I went out of the country for the 1st time in February! Yup, got to use my passport for the 1st time, get my 1st passport stamp. It was amazing- I went to Ireland with my boyfriend. We pretty much drove all over the entire country and saw EVERYTHING, including the Cliffs of Moher (which I was most excited about). And it wasn’t too intimidating (Ireland has normal food that I like and everyone speaks English, ha!) I’m ready to go to more places like Paris or London. Traveling is something I’m very passionate about, I just want to see as much as I can and experience everything. I don’t want to miss out on anything in life. I want to know it all.

I played Paintball for the 1st time ever! My boyfriend and I bought a Living Social deal. It only cost $69 and for that we got 2-hour transportation to and from the paintball field in PA, 500 paintballs and gun rental and mask rental and air refills, and lunch! WHA?! Um…TELL me that’s not a good deal. Yes, it is. We ended up buying an additional 500 paintballs to split between the 2 of us and ended up renting camo and extra protective gear (which was only $15 extra bucks). But I think it was totally worth it! You get to play 5 games on all different fields of play. I was a little timid at first- I didn’t shoot a THING during the first game…and pretty much hid as far away from the other team as I could. I finally convinced myself to NOT be a pansy during the second game and I actually went out and shot at people…and got shot myself, ha! But you gotta experience getting shot! Or else it’s not worth it! Fun times- I highly suggest it.

My boyfriend also took me out of town a few weeks ago for my 30th birthday- we went to San Francisco and Northern California. We spent the majority of the trip hiking and biking (which isn’t relaxing at ALL!) But the more I thought about it, the happier I was that we were keeping ourselves busy being active and going to many different areas to see as much as we could. We did some wine tasting in Napa, rode our bikes over the Golden Gate Bridge, and also got to ride the cable cars! As long as I hit up those “must-do’s”, I was content with anything else thrown my way.

Now I’m back at my office (yes, I’m blogging from work- AGAIN!) Bossy-Poo is in Paris right now. So I don’t have to be her servant for the next week! AH! LOVE IT! I’m actually being pro-active and am currently searching for a new job. I had a final interview with a company the day before I left for California but they haven’t made any decisions yet. All I know is that they told me today that I’m still in the running. Keeping my fingers crossed! If I get this job, I get paid MORE, do LESS work, and get full benefits! Um…yes please! So all of you out there in blogland, keep me and my sanity in your prayers. I need this new job to save me from the bullshit I do right now. Which really is…basically…being a servant. No joke. I don’t feel like a 30 year old gal shouldn’t be in such a demeaning job. It’s time for me to move on.

Things to look forward to- FREE YOGA IN TIMES SQUARE AGAIN! Yup- 2 days from now it’s the 1st day of summer! This time I’m not doing the 1st class of the day with the sun rising, I’m doing the LAST class of the day with the sun setting. Should be a cool experience. Plus my boyfriend is coming with me this time- ha! THAT should be interesting 😉 Summer Soccer season starts up in a few weeks! I’ve been deprived since early May which was our last game for Winter season- we made it to the playoffs- got 3rd Place out of 16 teams! Not too shabby! And last but not least- the hope of going home at the end of July and finally seeing my family again. I’m hoping this happens. I look forward to it because I need to make it happen. Hold me to this, my BloggerPeeps.

I’ll do my best to blog more often- once a week if possible. It’s summer…it could happen! 🙂 Until then…

Advertisements

ZIPPPPP

I like to think of myself as a fairly adventurous person. But lately, I’ve started to get the feeling that I’ve experienced NOTHING that most people would consider adventurous. I dream of going white water rafting…but I’m afraid I’ll drown. I would love to go skydiving…but I’m afraid the parachute won’t open and I’ll die. I wish I could try bungee-jumping…but I’m afraid the bungee will snap and I’ll be a goner. Why all these ridiculous scenarios pop into my head, I’ll never know. One thing is for sure, I’ve always wanted to try ziplining. Most people I know have tried it and talked about how amazing it was. And I guess I figure, “Oh, you’re still alive?! Ok, I think I can try that!”

I recently brought up ziplining to my boyfriend. He heaved a big sigh, “Oh I’ve done that SOOOOO many times, it’s not that great.” Ok, fine. I’ll go by myself then! I started to search around NYC to see if there was a place in the city that offered something zipline-y. I thought I might find something in Queens or something. No luck. The only things that popped up on my google search were places in upstate New York. BAH! So I decided to temporarily give up my search, I wasn’t going to rent a car for this adventure! Towards the beginning of August, I started hearing about a free temporary zipline that was going to be available for 3 Saturdays that month in downtown NYC. OH! PERFECT! THIS IS MY CHANCE! I look up the information and find a video that someone had posted on YouTube of the actual zipline. It was pathetic. It didn’t look adventurous at all. I looked like it ran about 20 feet long and was maybe 10 feet off the ground. BORING! I’m not waking up at 6am to do a free LOSER zipline no matter how desperate I am to try this activity. I was bummed.

I told my boyfriend about the free pathetic zipline and how much I had wanted to try it when I first heard about it. But once I saw it, I changed my mind. He looks at me and says, “You know, it’s not fair for me to not go ziplining with you just because I’ve done it so many times. You’ve never done it and you want to try it and I should do it with you. Let’s find some places upstate and we’ll go over Labor Day weekend.” GAH!!! I did a happy dance and immediately started my research. He had sent out a message to his adventurous facebook friends for some GOOD zipline suggestions. One person had written back to him and told him about Hunter Mountain upstate but also suggested Berkshire East in Massachusetts. He told me that he wanted to go to the Berkshires because it’s more fun than just going upstate. I said he can pick wherever he wants to go as long as ziplining was on the itinerary, I didn’t care about the location.

I checked out the Berkshire East Canopy Tour website. They had 3 different zip options. The Beginner (AKA The Pansy zip) which only involved 2 short zips that weren’t very high and weren’t very long. Then there was The Moderate (AKA The Semi-Pansy zip) which was 7 zips, 2 short hikes, 2 ski lifts and went up a decent height but none too long. This is the one that was their most popular. Then there was The EXTREME (AKA You Might Shit Your Pants If You Do This zip) which was 6 zips, 2 ski lifts, 2 hikes, oh and the last 2 zips were over 200 feet in the air and over 1/2 miles long. WHOA! I told my boyfriend about the options and said it sounded like the moderate one was right up our alley. “Ok, let’s do the extreme one,” he suggests. Um…WHAT?! I panic…”Uh…that one looks terrifying! I might wet myself!” He says, “You only live once, if we are going to do it, we should go for the best!” Sigh…he’s right, it may be my first time doing it but I’M the one who insisted on going, the least I could do was compromise on the course we took. “OK!” I agree. I purchased our tickets and that was that. No turning back.

We arrived in the Berkshires on Friday evening, we weren’t ziplining until Sunday late afternoon/early evening. So I had some time to build up my freak-out fest. As Saturday night arrived, I decided to do a little research…’Has Anyone Died From Ziplining’ I put in the google search on my iPhone. Horrified, results started to flow to my screen…of people dying. NOOOOO! I put my phone back on the charger and laid down and started to whimper…yes, just like a dog. No tears, just pathetic whine-like noises. “What’s wrong, bubu?” my boyfriend asks. “I made a mistake…” I replied. “What did you do…?” he asks hesitantly. “Sigh…I just googled ‘has anyone died from ziplining’ and it says YES!” I whine. He rolls his eyes, “Baby, why do you do that to yourself? Why do you think you are going to die every time you try a new fun activity?” I didn’t realize I did that…but once I started to think about it, he was right! I really did freak myself out of a lot of stuff…such as riding my bike on a street because that means a car will hit me and I will definitely die and then they will chain up one of those fake white bikes right where I died and people will put flowers on it and strangers will be like, ‘oh, sucks for them!’ What the hell?! Adventurous people don’t do that! Why am I being a loser?! I convinced myself that I was being ridiculous…and focused on all my friends who were ALIVE to tell the tale of their ziplining experience. Surely, I was going to live through it, just like them. I settle down and fall asleep.

On Sunday afternoon, we head to Berkshire East for our zipline date. After we get there, we watch a few people zipping on the pansy course. God, why was I so afraid? This looks easy…and FUN! We gear up and head to the ski lift with 8 other people in our course plus 2 tour guides. This is my first time on a ski lift…and I was the only loser in my group that HADN’T been on a ski lift before…and there were CHILDREN in our group. Ugh, I think my adventurous status just dropped to the negative. The guides told me how to get on the chair and my boyfriend held my hand and we slipped on to the lift and UP into the air we went. Ok, that wasn’t so bad…even though I got nervous at doing something as little as THAT. After we reached the top, we walked to our first zip. I was nervous, I didn’t volunteer to go first. A little boy volunteered to go first. A little F-ing boy. If I didn’t feel like a lame-ass yet, I now officially did. Ok, I volunteer 2nd. I wasn’t going to let myself be a scaredy cat anymore. The guide hooked me up to the line, I held on to the rope, looked at my boyfriend one last time and jumped! WEEE! I’m flying!!! I look below and all around me, I spin in a circle and arrive on the other side, backwards. I survived! And I had fun! Jesus, I need to just let go sometimes! My boyfriend zooms in after me. He comes up to me and asks how I felt and told me he was proud of me 🙂 We go through 3 more zips and we are taught how to steer and given the option to kick off the zips to go faster (which I did! I think I surprised myself and my boyfriend was even more impressed!) We reach our second to last zip. Which is a dual line and goes nearly 200 feet in the air and runs almost a half mile long! My boyfriend and I are the last in our group to go. We count down and jump off! I tuck myself into a bullet and speed down the line. I’m doing my best to beat him (since I beat him at nothing else) and win our little race. I get there quite a bit before him. The people in our group comment about how I beat him, haha. I think that fueled the fire for him to beat me in our final jump coming up.

We are told we can take off our helmets because we have a bit of a hike before our last zip. We trudge uphill and I can’t wait to get to this last zip, my attitude has totally changed and I can’t wait to continue the adventure. We finally reach our destination. What a view, that’s something I didn’t do on my last jump, take in my surroundings. Well, now that I got beating my boyfriend at the zip race out of my system, I’m ready to focus on the area around me. My boyfriend and I get hooked up and step down, count down and run across the ground and out over the open area. I look down below and all around me. Beautiful treetops, changing leaves, a setting sun. God, what a sight, this is incredible. I’m so grateful that I get to experience something as amazing as this and that I didn’t chicken out and miss out on such a cool adventure! I look over at my boyfriend and we exchange thrilling expressions. Before I know it, we have reached the other end and are getting unhooked. We wait for the rest of the group to finish and hop on our ski lift back down to the bottom of the mountain. My boyfriend telling me the entire time that he was proud of me, he knew I was scared but I still went with it and tried it and that’s all that mattered. I was proud of myself, too.

I think from here on out, I’ll have a new outlook on trying new activies. And hopefully I’ll spend less time thinking about the 1,000 ways I’m going to die 😉

And Summer is Coming to a Close…

It’s getting to be that time again…when people start coming back from the Hamptons and go back to their jobs and the city gets crowded with children going back to school and the weather gets a bit cooler. Personally, I love the fall. It just means I’m less likely to get sunburned. See, my skin is the color of vampire so I spend most of my summers indoors anyways. Now I can start coming out of hibernation! Plus it means Pumpkin Spice Lattes are almost here 🙂 JOY! But before the summer goes away completely, you have to try to fit in the rest of the NYC freebies before everything disappears in the fall. Like Shakespeare in the Park, you know when it’s nearing the end of August, it’s time to start waiting in line for your last chance to see the free show! Shakespeare in the Park offers 2 free shows every summer. Usually they have big name stars leading the shows and then they transfer it to Broadway. BUT ideally you want to hit up the show while it’s completely free in Central Park over the summer. This summer the line up was Shakespeare’s As You Like It and Sondheim’s Into the Woods. Two shows that I absolutely LOVE so I knew I was going to have to find a way to get tickets to both! 

Now, the getting of the tickets is the tricky part. There are several ways that you can get them. The most popular way is waiting in an extremely long line in Central Park for 5+ hours until they hand out the tickets at 1pm. If you don’t have a job, that’s a great way for you! You can spend the day in the park, get some sunshine, read, nap, they even have a deli who will take food orders and deliver to the line! This was the way I used to ALWAYS get tickets. I would go with my fellow actor friends who also didn’t have day jobs and we would camp out in line (sometimes getting there at 5am for certain shows!) But alas, those days are over for me since I work a 9-5 now. The other option for tickets is to wait in the standby/cancellation line for tickets that may become available later in the day right before showtime. I’ve done this a few times and every time I did it, I got in. People sometimes start these lines an hour before the show- around 7pm. Other times I’ve seen people start the line as soon as they run out of free ticket distribution at 1pm! This is the route I went when I saw As You Like It this summer. I left work early one day at about 3pm and headed to the line. There were already about 8 people in front of me! But it was also the final week of shows. I have a tendency to do that…wait til the LAST WEEK when everything is CRAZY and I have to frantically find a way to see the show. But have no fear, I got my ticket that night and got to see an amazing production 🙂 The last way to get tickets is by an online virtual lottery. You just sign online the day of the show, fill out the registration form and wait til 1pm when you get the email congratulating you or giving you the bad news.

I have NEVER won the virtual lottery. Ever. In all my years and all the shows of trying to win the virtual lottery, I have always lost. What the hell. I used to think this virtual lottery was bogus and NO ONE won. Until I saw my friends’ facebook statuses saying, “I won the lottery, I’m seeing Into the Woods tonight!!!” UM…SERIOUSLY?! I think the virtual lottery has something against me and my out of state address or something. Yeah, I still use my hometown for my driver’s license, whatev.

One day I was talking to my coworker about how I REALLY wanted to see Into the Woods and how I always lose the virtual lottery so I was probably going to have to wait in the standby line. And she had no idea what this virtual lottery was! I was in shock! I explained to her how to do the lottery and she decided to try it every day as well. I realized, ya know…I bet she’s going to win this stupid lottery cuz I told her about it and I ALWAYS LOSE! So I made her promise to take me to the show if she won and I would take her to the show if I won. She agreed. Holla!

Lo and behold, she comes up to me at 1pm one day with an email open on her iPhone. “Congratulations” it starts off and I know I finally have my ticket to see Into the Woods! YES! I check my email just to see if I happened to be so lucky…I open it up and I get my usual “UNFORTUNATELY” email. I’ve never seen a winning email before. It was like seeing a unicorn. I asked her if she was still going to take me and she said, “Of course! We promised!” YAY! No waiting in lines for tickets! This was a first for me! I was thrilled! The show itself was brilliant, and had an interesting twist in how they were telling it. Very glad I didn’t miss it!

So I was lucky enough to see BOTH shows at Shakespeare in the Park this summer. That hasn’t happened in a while! The moral of this story is- if you always lose a contest, double up your chances with help from friends…and force them to share the winnings with you while you continue to lose 😉

I Will NOT Accept Your Snapple As An Apology!

Ok, it’s official…I have a problem. With blogging while I’m at work. Oi… Oh well. There are worse things in the world. Like crackheads. They are the WORST. I know because I live with crackheads. No, really. I do. There’s this little thing called low-income housing. And unfortunately for me, that’s the type of building I live in. Once upon a time, I was trying to be an actor. And since the majority of actors never have work, we are usually broke. Which makes us eligible to live in low-income housing…with formerly homeless people, drug addicts, crazies, etc. You get the picture. So…yeah, whenever a homeless person asks me for money on the street, I reply, “Um, you’re barking up the wrong tree, I live with homeless people.” Usually confuses people but gets me off the hook. My friends all know I live in a halfway house/crackhouse so they never invite themselves to come over. I don’t blame them. I pretty much live with my boyfriend in his condo anyway. My apartment is mostly used as a storage space these days. I’m only really there when I go to my gym or do laundry. And what do you know? This past weekend was Laundry Sunday for me. And I had an experience that I have never had before…

I get home from my boyfriend’s apartment in the late morning/early afternoon on Sunday and head up to my laundry room. Good, 4 of the 8 washers are open…and the other 4 are broken (what else is new, everyone who works in my building is a lazy moron. One time one of our elevators was broken for an entire month! Seriously…the biggest lazy fucks ever. No joke.) So, I immediately rush up to my apartment to collect all my dirties, quarters, and detergent and hustle back to the laundry room. AGH! I spot a woman filling up 2 washers, NO! Oh..wait…2 more still open for me, PHEW! I only need 2 washers anyways. One for the darks and one for the lights. I put my clothes in and check the timer. Ok, I need to be back down here in 35 minutes so no disgusting tenants touch my clean clothes. I always like to be there before my machines end so I can snag a dryer quickly and also so the next person can put their stuff in the wash. It’s not cool to let your shit sit there in a washer when only 8 (or in this case 4) are available for the other 650 tenants in the building. Plus, our building’s rules are that you can take a person’s shit out if you are waiting for a machine and they are no where to be seen.

35 minutes pass and I head back down to the laundry room to move my clothes to the dryer. I get down there and 1 machine has 2 minutes left, the other has 3 minutes left. I also see 2 people waiting for machines- an older woman and a long, scraggly haired middle-aged man. I stand by my machines and wait for them to finish. I decide to go ahead and put my dryer sheets in 2 of the available dryers (only 4 of the 6 were working). I didn’t see the other woman down there who was putting her clothes in the wash at the same time as me. Hers must be done by now…but oh well, still 2 more dryers were free for her to use. I stand by my machines again and then I notice the nasty scraggly man started to take the woman’s clothes out of the wash. That sucks for her…I’d be so grossed out if I found my clothes had been moved by someone else. I’d probably rewash them actually. Anyway, he stuffs one of her loads in an available dryer. Then he proceeds to shove her second wash into one of MY dryers. I quickly stop him, “Sir, I was going to use that dryer, I put a dryer sheet in there, I think you saw me do that…” He replies, “Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll move it.” Instead of putting it into another available dryer, he throws her clothes on a table. I look in my dryer and my frickin dryer sheet is no longer there. Of course. Now I have to dig through somebody’s laundry to find my stuff, what a stupid asshole. I mumble, “Um…ok, my dryer sheet is missing so now I have to search through this stranger’s laundry…” I find it and put it back in my dryer. Then weirdo guy offers the 2 washers to the other woman to put her clothes in. Um…what the fuck? Why would you move someone else’s clothes and then give the machines to someone else?! I guess so the woman would be blamed for HIS shittiness. The woman is also confused as to why he would move a person’s items when he wasn’t planning on using it himself but proceeds to start her own laundry. And he waits for my machines.

After a few minutes, my clothes are now finished. I go through my first wash, taking a few trips to put stuff into the dryer and sort out what needs to stay out of the dryer. The guy seems to be patiently waiting for me to finish. After I grab what MIGHT be the last of my items in the wash, I walk over and place my items into the dryer. When I turn around, I can’t believe my eyes. This dumb fuck is loading MY WASHER with his clothes already. WITHOUT me telling him that I’m finished and he is free to use it. WITHOUT me getting to take a last look to make sure no items were left sticking to the machine. And WITH my keys, money, and clothes STILL on top of the fucking washer. I’m now irritated, “Sir! What do you think you are doing?! Did I say I was finished?” He replies, “Oh, well, you took everything out.” I say, “I needed to look and make sure no items were stuck to the walls of the machine! That happens to my clothes ALL the time! Now I can’t cuz you already put all your shit in there! Do you not see my keys, clothes, and money still sitting on top of this washer? That means I’M USING IT!!!” He sort of apologizes again. But he’s now officially on my bad side. Things are not looking good for this character. I grab all my items on top of the washer that he has now taken over and throw them in a huff on top of my second washer that I have not yet emptied.

Stupid Man continues to put his stuff in the now available washer. I start working on my second washer. moving things to the dryer, and separating what can’t go in the dryer. I then sense the Stupid Man standing behind me. I turn and look, he’s got his arms full of laundry. I say, “Um, I’m sorry do you need me to move?” And he says, “Oh, no I’m waiting for your washer.” Here we go again… why the fuck is this asshole standing RIGHT ON MY ASS while I’m taking out my clothes?! I’m pulling out my fucking underwear for crying out loud, can this shithead back the fuck up and give me some privacy or something? Why are people so fucking dumb?! I let it go for a few minutes, slowly starting to fume again, cuz clearly he didn’t catch that I was kind of pointing out that he’s giving me absolutely no room to take out my stuff now. Then out of no where, I can’t take it anymore and BLOW UP! “SIR! Can you give me some fucking space?! You are standing right on my ass, how the hell do you expect me to get my shit out while you are in my fucking way?!” He also has lost his cool, “SOME OF US ARE IN A HURRY!” I respond, “No shit! I’m in a fucking hurry, too, hence why I got my ass down here earlier than YOU so I could get my fucking laundry done” He screams, “Well, you are taking too long!” And I shout back, “I’M TAKING TOO LONG?! FUCK YOU! I got down here before my laundry was even finished because I’m respectful to other people needing to get their laundry done! I didn’t let it sit in here and waste more of your time. You should be thanking me for giving you less work of having to remove my stuff before you put your stuff in. All I expect of you is to give me 3 fucking minutes to separate my stuff for what needs to go in the dryer and what doesn’t and you can’t even handle that.” He yells, “I’m old enough to be your father!” And I scream, “Like I fucking care, you clearly aren’t SMART enough to be anyone’s father!” This entire time, this poor other woman is staring at us both and quietly saying, “You guys…come on…stop.” But you can’t convince 2 crazies to stop screaming at each other once they are on a roll…clearly. The guy then calls me a bitch. It’s weird, I’m never offended when people call me a bitch. I know I’m a bitch, that’s nothing new. After the name-calling, I don’t necessarily back down, but I stop screaming and choose a different route and say, “Ok, after that remark, your ass is now getting reported to security. Enjoy.” And I continue to try to separate my clothes. But now I’m shaking from being so angry. I notice my last comment shut up Stupid Man. He quietly says, “I’m sorry. Please, please don’t report me.” OH!!! We finally found the sore spot. Clearly this fuckhead gets in trouble all the time and probably can’t afford to be reported again. No deal. I respond, “Well, it’s too late for your fucking apology now, maybe you should have thought about your earlier actions and you wouldn’t have this problem.” He gets heated up again and threatens to kick my ass or something. Is this dude bipolar? What the hell?! So then I reply, “Oh, clearly reporting you to security isn’t enough. Now I’m just gonna call the cops on your ass. Have fun in jail, loser.” Once again, he calms down and apologizes. But clearly he is struck and at a loss. I think he knows it’s over and he’s gonna get busted.

Before I know it, security shows up in the laundry room anyway, probably because they heard the screaming. Security’s first comment, “Gary, what did you do now?” HA! Stupid Man AKA Gary clearly has a problem and gets in trouble all the time. Good job, Gary. He doesn’t respond. I don’t say anything and continue to try to just get my shit in the dryer and get OUT of there. Even though now I’m paranoid that Stupid Man will probably open the dryer and piss all over my clothes. Security then asks me, “Ma’am, can you tell me what happened?” Sigh…for some reason, I feel bad for this fuck-up Stupid Man. I tell security, “You know, it’s not his fault, he was doing things I didn’t appreciate and we both just lost our cool and started to scream at each other, but it’s ok. It’s both our faults.” I actually felt like a grown-up with that answer. Normally I would have just thrown the dickhead under the bus but for some reason I felt genuinely bad for his extreme despair towards being reported. Security seemed ok with my response and left. Stupid Man then thanked me up and down and offered to buy me a tea. I declined the offer. We both apologized for our actions and I headed out of the laundry room.

35 minutes later, I’m heading back down to get my stuff out of the dryer. Stupid Man is nowhere to be seen. Thank God, I wouldn’t want to get in another fight over the DRYERS this time. I start collecting my items and then out of nowhere, Stupid Man is standing right behind me again. Oh my God. Again?! Seriously?! He holds out a Snapple to me and says, “I bought this for you.” Ok, that’s nice…but…no. I thank him for the Snapple but decline his offer and head out of the laundry room. Snapple? Really? Sorry, Dr. Pepper is the only way to my heart.

RESTAURANT WEEK…HOLLA!

Twice in one week?! Wow, I’m on a roll! Making up for all those missed weeks I suppose… Unfortunately I’ve started up the bad habit of blogging during work. Well, I guess I can’t technically say it’s a bad habit yet, seeing as this is only the 2nd time I’ve done it. Don’t judge. I can’t help it, I’m so friggin BORED at my office right now. I know…I’m weird. I’m always wishing my boss would go out of town and stop breathing down my neck with shit to do and the SECOND she leaves town, I wish she was back and barking orders at me again. I’m a Gemini so naturally I like to be busy doing SOMETHING. Also, I don’t want to look like I have nothing to do at the office, because I don’t want to be told, “Oh, you have nothing to do? Oh don’t worry, you don’t have to come in then.” Because, um, hi, I want money, obvi. So why not just do my own thing then? Besides, I LOOK like I’m working- typing away on my computer- working REALLY hard…on my blog. Good thing they can’t see what’s going on on my computer screen! Oh well, enough chatter about work…BLAH! Who wants to hear that?

If you remember correctly, I told you it’s summer in NYC right now. About 67 times. I like to repeat myself a lot. I think I’m turning into my mother. She repeats herself SO much to me that I can recite what comes out of her mouth. But does she stop? No. She says, “Oh, I told you this already?” Um…yes mom, about 419 times. And then she continues the story that she knows she has already told me. Why do people do this? Do they need to finish their thought? I don’t know why I went off on this tangent but I’m glad I got it off my chest…it also has nothing to do with my blog topic. Ah, another sign I’m a Gemini.

So…it’s summer. And a few weeks out of the summer (and winter as well) NYC likes to do this little thing called Restaurant Week. Numerous restaurants participate in this. It’s usually the expensive restaurants that you could never set foot in without getting dirty looks that you aren’t good enough. You know, the ones with bitchy chicks giving you the once over because you are wearing Urban Outfitters and NOT Prada? Yup, those restaurants. Well, even us broke 20-somethings like to eat at grand restaurants, too! Don’t hate! So, anyways, these restaurants have seatings for lunch and dinner…or sometimes both! Lunch costs $24.07 (yeah, .07? Dumb, just make it $24) and dinner costs $35 (quite a jump!) What is provided is an appetizer, an entree, AND a dessert. For the total price that I told you. Ridic, right? Most of these restaurants charge $35 for the entree ALONE. So needless to say, it’s quite a deal! Now, unfortunately you don’t get to pick out of everything on the regular menu. They provide a separate menu for this occasion. You usually get to select 1 of 3 options for each category. Not too shabby!

I always make sure to go to at least ONE restaurant every time it’s going on. It’s nice to get to try multiple items and a pricey restaurant that you would NEVER get to go to under normal circumstances. Wow, I’m really starting to sound like I belong in the steerage class on the Titanic… :/ It’s ok, it’s not like I eat out of the garbage or anything (oh wait, I DID do that once…story for another time).

This time around, I went with my friend (who will be named Kay for privacy purposes) to Haru, a japanese restaurant and sushi bar. I keep getting pleasantly surprised by these japanese places! I always grew up hating chinese food (because it’s what normal kids do- hate foods they’ve never had before). And then finally in high school I tried chinese food for the first time. And…I REALLY hated it! I got sick, I knew I was a smart kid- staying away from that stuff. Blah! Well, anyways, I always associated japanese food and chinese good to be basically the same thing. I mean…to be honest, I can’t tell the difference between japanese and chinese PEOPLE so their food must be the same as well…OBVIOUSLY. To be fair, I mostly eat seafood at these japanese places and I adore seafood. So as long as that is provided on the menu, we will be besties for sure.

After I arrive at Haru, I ordered a drink since it was Happy Hour, I picked a drink called Enter the Dragon. Sounds dangerous, no? It was sparkling wine and pomegranate juice, my fav! After Kay arrives, we get to our table and look over the menu. I decided to go to with Fish Tacos as my appetizer (tuna- BEST, Bass- eh, Salmon- ok). I thought for sure I’d love Salmon the most because I eat it religiously but was very surprised by the tuna…D-lish! Kay also got the same appetizer that I did. For my entree, I chose Garlic Shrimp with Noodles. Um…one word for you…YUM! SOOO GOOD! My body was shaking as I ate the shrimp, it was just perfect. The noodles were good, too but I kind of neglected them for the shrimp. Kay got some weird sushi sashimi shit. I don’t do so well with sushi. I had it homemade at a neighbors house once and gagged like a mother on the wasabi I put all over it. I’ve only had it once since then, and it was a better experience but I don’t think I’m prepared to make a meal out of it just yet. And then it was time for dessert…I got Cheesecake Tempura. I know, don’t your insides just MELT at the thought of that amazingness? I don’t even know how to describe this other than by saying ‘get off your ass now and shove it in your mouth awesome’. Kay got Banana Fritters or something like that. It didn’t look NEARLY as good as my choice, but hey, to each his own 😉

After we stuffed our guts and caught up on life, boys, and work…we headed out to our separate destinations. Sigh…why can’t Restaurant Week last forever?

 

Oh My God I’m Blogging from WORK!

I feel so scandalous. I should be working! But instead…I BLOG! Ok, hopefully this will just be a one time thing because I’ll feel really guilty if I get in the habit of this and then get caught :/ I have about 2 hours left at the office…and there are SOME things I could probably do instead of getting paid to not work and fiddle around on my blog…but I choose to not do those things. Why? Because my boss is in the Hamptons, so why should I work? Duh! I mean, my coworkers are working but…whatever. Sorry I’ve been MIA for the past…like…4 weeks. I know I have quite a following…all 2 of you 😉 You must have missed me. Well, I’m a busy girl and I only planned on blogging once a week, so technically I’ve only missed…like…4 entries. It’s not that dramatic if you think about it that way. So anyways, I’ve been out of town, doing awesome things, which I’ll update you on in another future blog. I just don’t feel like writing about that right now. So yeah. I’ll give you one bit of info…I went to Florida. That’s all you get for now.

If one goes to Florida, what does that person tend to do in Florida? SWIM…or at least be in a bathing suit of some sort for a certain period of time. And if you’re in a bikini, what do you need to do? Yes, that’s right…GET A WAX. Now, I usually get a wax once a month as it is. I have my special girl at my special wax strippin place who gets the honor of staring at me half naked once a month. But because I’ve been borderline broke lately, I hadn’t been to her in a few months :/ Eek! She always scolds me when I wait too long. Not that I’m a hairy baboon down there or anything but it’s just not short enough to throw on the wax and rip it off. They have to do extra work…trimming. Is this getting too graphic for you? Don’t worry, I’m sure I can make you more uncomfortable later on 🙂

I check the contents of my checking account…oi…I should PROBABLY not be spending $70-ish bucks on a wax right now. Especially when I’m about to go out of town and not work for nearly 2 weeks. But then, what about my bikini area? I can’t neglect it for much longer and I definitely can’t wear a bathing suit in the state my hair is in. What to do…? I could go to the cheap chick that I USED to go to before I discovered my new, more sanitary place (I think my older chick would double-dip…AH! The thought makes me cringe) Not to mention the fact that the chick I used to go to friended me on facebook. And when I wouldn’t come in for a long time, she would go on my page and “like” about 11 pictures…some of which I wouldn’t even BE in. I think she would do this to be like, “Hey, remember me? I’m here and I want to wax your crotch and take your money, come on down!” Whatever reason she did this for, it creeped me out enough to make me block her and find a new person to take care of my private parts.

But my current wax place is pretty price-y. Enough to make me consider SHAVING before I go to Florida. YIKES. Then out of the blue, I get a forwarded email from my friend (who I’ll name Dee for privacy purposes). On this email from Dee, the subject says ‘Complimentary Wax at Completely Bare Spa’. My eyes do a double-take. Wait, for REAL? A FREE WAX? Right when I’m NEEDING a free wax?! Ok, what’s the catch…I scan through the email…ah, now I see it. TRAINING SCHOOL. Oh boy. Do I do it? And risk the possibility of having my hair AND skin ripped off? My mind starts going through all the scenarios…the girl rips off the sheet and a chunk of my skin is missing leaving a bleeding gash which requires stitches…or even worse, the girl rips of the sheet and my clit is ripped off! AGH! Well, honestly, I think it’s a sign. There are few times where I’m desperately needing a wax and have no money to do so and then a free wax is tossed at me. Besides, how bad could it REALLY be? I mean, it’s Completely Bare Spa. Cindy Barshop from the Real Housewives of NYC owns it and I’m SURE she wouldn’t just have any Joe Schmo giving waxes there to give her a bad name! So I call them up and book my appointment. 

I find out I have the option of getting a brazilian or a completely bare wax. I ask what the difference is. Brazilian means everything is removed except for a small shape and a completely bare is total hair removal. Ok, I’m going with completely bare! Besides, I’m going to Completely Bare Spa, I have to get their signature wax! So I show up on one of the 2 free days they provide (just a few days before I have to leave town, what perfect timing this all is!) and check in. As I sit and wait, I get nervous and the bad scenarios start running through my head again…oh God…should I just make a run for it?! Too late, a young girl approaches me and takes me to the room. Another woman joins her, I guess this is the teacher? They leave me alone in the room to undress my lower half. I check out the room and the wax…not gonna lie, this room looks like a place where prisoners go to get sizzled. Ya know…death penalty? Not a very comfy table, not much light, not much space. God, what did I sign myself up for!? The girl comes back in with the woman and they both look at my cootch and the woman leaves me alone with the young girl to kill…er…wax me.

I decided to start up conversation…”So…is this the first wax you’ve ever done?” I ask in a calm voice, dreading the answer. The girl is totally cool, “Oh, God no, I’m an esthetician, I’ve waxed thousands of times at other spas I’ve worked at. I’m just at the training school for THIS spa in particular because they do waxing differently here.” Oh PHEW! I relax and realize I’m in ok hands for this. But now I’m curious…how do they do waxes differently? The girl (who I realize looks a lot like the child actor Ashley Johnson) tells me that they use BOTH hard and soft wax in different areas of…well…your hoohaa. Interesting. I continue to talk with the girl about her personal life, my personal life, we bond. I mean, we might as well, she’s already seen all of me, why bother holding back on anything else?

After a while, the woman comes in to check on the progress. We are taking kind of a long time because the wax wasn’t fully heated, but Ashley Johnson look-a-like was doing a thorough job so the woman left again. We continue our conversation, I cringe only a few times with a few of the rips but in general, the girl did a great job! Definitely not what I was expecting! She finishes up and I’m allowed to get dressed. I pass her in the hall and give her a bigger tip than I give my usual girl…may as well, I don’t have to pay for the wax, it’s totally free! Which reminds me…I’m blogging about yet ANOTHER free thing, ha! I swear I’m not cheap 😉 I grab a bottle of water from their waiting room table and head out of the spa. Content with my choice of not being a pansy and allowing a “training school student” give me a really great freebie 🙂

Adventures in Kayaking

Remember how I told you I like free shit? Well it’s true. I really like free shit. Lots of free shit. In the summer, I’ve noticed NYC has even MORE free shit than any other time. I think there should be equal amounts of free shit in every season but NYC wants to play favorites and summer is the winner. So my plan is to hit up as much free shit this summer as possible. I obviously started off on the right foot with the Summer Solstice Yoga in Times Square but now it’s time to step it up to the next level. I mean, everyone has done yoga. If you haven’t, then you are lying. If you REALLY haven’t, then something is wrong with you. Not trying to be mean, I just tell it like it is. So the fact is, everyone and their mom has tried yoga at some point in their lives. BUT has everyone gone kayaking? No. What about kayaking in NYC? Wait…that exists? UM…YES! And I just tried it for the first time this past week.

I had heard about Downtown Boathouse and how on Saturdays and Sundays in the summer they give out free kayaks to anyone who comes by, signs a waiver, and swears to the sweet baby J that they know how to swim. Oh but you only get to hold on to them for 20 minutes. Lame. But anyways, I had never tried it before. Part of me was a little nervous to get so close to the dirty, dead-body infested Hudson River water but I put on my big girl panties and dragged my boyfriend to come with me. He swore he would keep his kayak close to mine in case I started to die. We headed out and walked along the Hudson River Path to get to our destination. While on our journey to the pier, he kept going ON and ON about how he’s kayaked TONS before and how he’s an athlete and can do all these kayak tricks and all this other kayak shit. I gave him a dirty look and told him to stop ruining my first kayak moment. He cooled down on the bragging and we reached the pier.

Yup, just as they advertized, COMPLETELY FREE! We signed our waivers, claimed we knew how to swim, put on our tiny little lifejackets that were provided for us, and shoved our crap in a locker. Once we got down to the dock, we waited just a few minutes and got our kayaks. The volunteer explained how I needed to slide my butt from the dock onto the kayak so I wouldn’t fall in. I, of course, paid total attention since I didn’t want to end up in the water full of dead bodies. And before I knew it, I had my ass in a kayak (which got completely soaked due to the fact that the kayak seat was already soaked in dirty water) and I was paddling around the little closed-in area designated for the kayakers. It was thrilling! My boyfriend got his kayak and was immediately by my side…for approximately 2 seconds and then he took off, paddling like a madman. Gee, thanks for staying next to me like you promised. Oh well, it’s ok, I knew he took off really fast because he wanted to get exercise (he thinks life is only fun if exercise is involved in every aspect of every activity he takes part in…BORING!)

So…back to me. I leisurely stroll…er…glide across the water, paddling to every area I’m allowed to go to, taking in the scene surrounding me. Nearby boats that zoom by were causing little mini waves. Which added some fun, minus the dirty water splashing in your face. When suddenly…BANG…I crashed into another woman and the front of my kayak jabbed her in the ribs (oops!) I paddled away from her quickly, hoping she wasn’t going to die from internal bleeding caused by me :/ Don’t worry, I apologized. I looked around to see where my boyfriend went…still zooming around the outskirts of the kayaking boundaries, trying to get exercise, possibly attempting to do kayak tricks or whatever. Ok, I’m glad he didn’t see my embarrassing homicide attempt. I continue on my kayak journey. Looking across the river to dirty Jerz (yes, that’s what I call New Jersey) and looking up at the tall skyscrapers of NYC. What a cool view! I got over the fact that I was so close to the deadbody water, it was refreshing having the coolness of it splash onto my burning legs. In the middle of my bliss, my boyfriend paddles up to me, “Hey, I was trying to get exercise.” “Yeah, that was pretty evident” I reply. “So it’s been about 20 minutes, should we head in and give the kayaks to the next group?” he asks. I think about it…hm…no, I want to hog my kayak longer. “How about we keep them for 30 minutes, we can go in in 10 minutes” I respond. They aren’t keeping track of time anyway. Yeah, I like to live dangerously.

We take off in our separate directions. After a few minutes, I see he is at the pier dropping off his kayak! Really? Didn’t I say we are going to break the rules and hog the kayaks longer?! Oh well, I guess he’s nicer than me. I paddle myself in and give up my pretty little yellow kayak. We hose off, collect our items, and head out to wherever the rest of our Saturday takes us…with wet butts. If you are ever feeling adventurous enough to go for a dip in the Hudson River, check out the free kayaking at Pier 40, Pier 96, or 72nd Street. Oh, and The Hudson River isn’t really full of dead bodies…the East River is, that’s the other side of Manhattan 😉